As anyone with kids knows, the birth of a child definitely brings change to ones life. In my expert opinion it is good change. That is not to say less sleep or constant poopy diapers is a good thing but taken in the big picture, it is all good.
It is different with a second child though. You have all the new things that come with a new baby. Even though you have experienced it before you would be surprised how much you forget from one child to the next. Or maybe it is just memory suppression as far as the surprising number of diaper changes with a new born etc. At any rate you now have a new variable...the jealous sibling.
Don't get me wrong, Lilly LOVES her new brother and wants to hold and kiss him as much as possible. She also loves sitting in his bouncer and car seat, and would play with his binky all day if we let her. But you can tell she is jealous that all the attention is not on her as it was not so long ago. She is definitely in her terrible twos and has been for a little while, but lately has ignored us more and become more defiant. Then this week it seems to have gotten worse, but maybe it is my imagination.
I am just afraid she will feel as though she is being replaced, or is less loved, or neglected or something, which of course she is not, but who knows what a 2 year old thinks. Of course we aren't going to neglect Grant at all either. I guess we just have to let her get use to sharing our attention right?
One thing we decided to do to help her know none of the above is true is to spend some one on one time with her. So yesterday we had our first Daddy Daughter Date! (Triple D) I had told her about it earlier in the week and she was excited. On Thursday I asked what we would be doing the next day. She excitedly replied "Goin' on a date!"
So we dropped Marni and Grant off at Tutu's (That is Grandma Robinson as our kids know her) house and we headed to a movie. We went to see "Bolt", which we both really enjoyed! Lilly also liked the fact that I spoiled her by getting her her own popcorn, 7-up (which she referred to as her water) and candy. She liked the fold up seats a lot and enjoyed sitting at the back of them and having it start to fold up on her, then having me push the front down. (this was her first trip to the theatre, so it was full of fun new experiences) She had so much fun she didn't want to leave. In fact we sat through all of the credits because she was sure it wasn't over. Then all the way back she was saying she didn't want to go back to Tutu's house, which she normally looks forward to. I told her we will go on another date sometime and she is excited about that. I did feel bad going into the movie though, because since I was carrying the soda and popcorn I couldn't carry her, which she was fine with. But we got to the movie just after it started because we got stuck in traffic behind some house they were moving down the highway or something. Anyway, it was dark when we got in there and with no free had I had to have her hold on to my pant leg while we walked up the stairs to the our seats, and she was a little scared being her first time in a theatre, but it was all good once we got our seats and she got her goodies.
When Marni has had a little more recover time, she will take her for some one on one time as well. I think it will be a good and very fun thing for us to do will all our kids as they grow up, so I really look forward to all the "dates"
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Triple D
Posted by Potterspot at 12:57 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Yep, you're definitely on the right track with the Daddy-Daughter dates and Mommy/Daughter dates. Amy does that with her kids and I have also done Nana dates with them. I wish Lilly knew me better so I could take her on a Nana date when I come out in a couple of weeks. You can also try the same sort of thing at home--a little one on one time from you (reading a story, playing a game, special little treat). It's something both you and Marni can do to help make her feel more secure while she is adjusting to the amount of attention her new brother needs.
I remember feeling guilty when Cecily was born because Isabel had to share the attention as she'd never had to in the past. I even felt a little sad that our whold family dynamic had shifted. The first few weeks is a hard transition. But then everyone adjusts and NOW, when I see how close Isabel and Cecily are, I know that giving her a sibling was a precious gift and she didn't lose anything at all.
My kids also LOVE the daddy-daugther dates. It's fun for Mike to spend one-on-one time with them, too.
I wish Bentley would sit through a movie!
How fun! We need to do better at the kid date thing. I did take Kendall and Lynnsey to a movie a couple of months ago, but we haven't been as regular as we used to be.
The whole jealousy thing is interesting isn't it? All of our kids have had to deal with that although some have been more pronounced than others. Luckily none of them ever took it out on the baby--just on us poor parents. It does get better though and like Alison said, when you see them become so close it is really an amazing thing.
I thought that she would be a little jealous since she is the first child. I hope it gets better for you and she will be better about sharing her mom and dad.
Post a Comment